Yellies: The Toys That Are Powered By Your Child's Screams
Step aside, recorder. Yellies are the hottest new toys that’ll delight people who want to completely antagonise parents.
Toy heavyweight Hasbro has come up with something truly nightmarish: a plush toy spider which is not only powered by screaming, it runs towards you as you scream.
Wait, wasn't this the entire premise of the movie, Monsters Inc?
I mean, kids can be noisy enough, right? Now we have these things, which encourages them to be even noisier and perhaps even develop a healthy streak of arachnophobia.
The tagline pretty much describes it: “The louder you yell, the faster they go.”
Sounds super fun, right?
One mum recently bought a Yellie from Amazon, and let’s just say it didn’t go particularly well.
“Being the mother of a naturally loud and boisterous kid, I thought it would be the perfect Christmas present,” Hilary Hard posted to Facebook.
“I couldn’t wait for Christmas. So I crack it open tonight, and get a good look at it. I test it out. I’m amazed at how powerful the little motor is... how fast the little legs move... how its creepy little eyes glow a lovely shade of radioactive green.”
“I call Leo in. He looks at it, cocks his little head to the side. And then, obviously, I yelled at it.”
Then things go completely downhill.
“The spider ran for it. Leo starts screaming... the louder he screams, the faster the spider pursued him. He runs. And this is when we discovered the fun little feature in which the spider has a tendency to stop abruptly... pause for a couple seconds... spin in several erratic circles... and then turn towards wherever it senses sound... and take off in that direction. More screaming. Spider runs faster. Leo is backed into a corner as murder glows green in the eyes of little “Skadoodle.”
OMG MY SIDES
“In short, maybe a little electronic spider that’s power source feeds off screams of terror... is not the best Christmas gift for your small child,” she writes.
“10 years from now we’ll be discussing this in therapy.”
Not even gonna lie, I’m one of those aunts, so this toy completely speaks to me.