Married Woman's Takedown Of Dude Trying To Ask Her Out
If you've ever had a random person add you on Facebook or follow you on Instagram and then almost instantly slide into your DMs with a spew-worthy chat-up line, then you're probably going to throw your hands up in a real-life praise hands emoji moment at this story.
An unnamed woman - who happens to be married - was approached on Messenger by a dude who not only has a kid in his profile picture but is also married, not that that stopped him from giving it a red-hot go.
And while she very gently rebuked the wannabe lothario to start with, his suggestion that they just, you know, not tell their respective spouses seems to have triggered some deep-seated rage because holy heck this woman did not hold back on telling him where to go.
"Oh haha you're married," the bloke says in response to the apparently surprising news. "So am I but we just won't tell.
"It will be fun lol."
(By the way, at what point did chucking a "lol" at the end of a message excuse people from saying dumb shit? Asking for a friend.)
Then the greatest - and also maybe the most tear-jerking? - takedown in history kicked off.
"When I got diagnosed with cancer last year I didn't have the heart to tell my boys (whom I have always protected) that I could die, my husband had to look in their eyes and say that I was sick," the woman brutally admitted.
"He subsequently took care of me during multiple surgeries, emptying drainage bags, giving me blood thinner shots, holding my hand while [I] was in pain and going to get chemo infusions."
She continued: "During that time there was a song lyric that would constantly loop in my head, 'Love is watching someone die'."
"So my question to you is... Who is going to watch you die?
"Get your house in order and please stop messaging me."
We just... No words.