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How To Recreate The $10 Million Royal Wedding For Under $50

With the Royal Wedding around the corner, I’m feeling a little more pov than usual.

Reports have said that Haz and Megz are doing their wedding on the cheap, swinging a cool $10 mill on the nuptials. It’s $22 Million less than Kate and Wills but I CAN THINK OF MANY OTHER THINGS I’D FLOG TEN MILLION DOLLARS ON THAN A BLOODY WEDDING.

I’ve pulled together a guide to replicating this hectically exxy event on the cheap. Invites, dress, photographer, venue, grog, THE LOT.

Thank me later lover-birds.

INVITATIONS:

You’ve first gotta send out the invites, so here’s a ream of 500 for $4.99 at ya local paper shop.

Get ya boujee DIY invites HERE

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THE DRESS:

We’re willing to flog a little more coin on this because all eyes are on it, so it can’t be shit. ASOS has this lil lace midi on sale for $24. It’s half our budget, but I promise we’ll pull it together. 
Shop that HERE

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PHOTOGRAPHY:

Grab your snotty little ‘Insta Model’ niece and get her to do your photos. She’s a mole but she’s FREE and knows how to get that good angle.

CATERING:

You’ve gotta have food at this thing, or people are gonna arc up. Have IKEA cater your event with $1 hotdogs (for the sake of the argument, I’m only adding one to the total, sue me.)

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ALCOHOL:

The Royal Wedding is a Royal pain in the ass so drink your pain away with an award-winning plonk from Aldi. Who has to choose between white or red when THERE’S ROSE.

Get ya cheap grog HERE

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SECURITY:

Meghan and Harry are employing security for their wedding, so guess what we’re doing? We’re calling in our biggest, meanest looking cousins to stand at the door and shout at gatecrashers. FREE.

ENTERTAINMENT:

Every wedding needs some entertainment. There’s gotta be an ex-Australian Idol contestant that hasn’t got anything to do who’ll come and play some tunes pro bono. Even drop Delta Goodrem a DM, I’m worried she doesn’t leave the house enough.

TRANSPORT:

Horse-drawn carriage? Please bitch. A fit bloke on a bike can pedal you for a Fiver. Genius.

Travel in style HERE

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VENUE:

Venue hire is a little difficult, so side-step that and grab Michael’s chairs from gumtree for $12 and sit outside. Beach, park, woolies carpark - the world’s your oyster.

Gumtree's got ya royal thrones HERE

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So that’s your full list of wedding shit you have to sort out for the big day, and I know I promised to stay under $50 AND WE TRIED but it comes to a grand total of $51.98 LET ME LIVE

Royal nuptials happening this Saturday.

Someone pass the $4.99 rose, it’s gonna be a long week…

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